Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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