I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
