He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize