Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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