I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize