i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I love you. Go after that dick
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
