No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
farters have to be the big spoon...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
