Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
