I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
