oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize