about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
