Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
