OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
