I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
