My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize