so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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