are you still at the devil's house?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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