I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
