They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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