Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize