you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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