my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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