she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
