Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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