can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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