I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
