like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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