STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
