I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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