So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
