Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
