Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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