Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
