How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
