hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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