I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
