You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We are two peas in an std pod
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
