just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
