For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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