were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
