Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize