I need help removing her.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize