i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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