The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize