My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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