They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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