I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
