Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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