oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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