Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
