He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Two words: nipple clamps
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