He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
