Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
