dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
