i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
