i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Farmville is her only friend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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