She just used a chaser for red wine.
two words: eviction party
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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