here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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