the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
