Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
