At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Did you pee in the oven last night??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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