I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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