And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
