ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
