I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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